Welcome, listener.

Stop pulling my eyelids up, floating melodies

You trickle down my ear canal into the recesses of my audio-translation-cavity of my cerebral cortex

l

With an endless attack on my

brain, pleasing the ears, staying awake the eyes

I forbid you to

en(d)..ter, but welcome

you to my selfish self who wants nothing morethantogiveupeverthingi

nm y

lif

etoGodwhowillnolongerbediss

a

pointed.

at leasthat is my wish.  He gave the gift to 

hear with my ears the beauty of life and the power these waves have crashing into the holes in my head.  Pulsing my brain continues to read, write, and not tire, yet exhuast.  Sending elation to my soul, which is impossible.  Where does it go?  It eminates through the body to create an aura in which the soul is confined.  Freed.  You run around like I used to.

But not depressed (down-and-out, more so), with a windy toy and old portraits.  I had that once, the music used to play.  But it plays no more.  Not the music I long for.  The music I wish to never have again.

I wish I could hear it again.  Right?  Yet I push it away from my soul because I feeaaaarrr what might happenagainifidrownmyselfinit.

I am not careful, and that is my problem, my fear.  It may take me over if I do not take myself and control my eyelids now, and then, and even then will it matter to me that I must take into account when not to only close my eyelids but also my soul to perhaps to a bird or horse or dog that may again try to steal it I stay away from them all.  

But they are one, and I want them together but in a different form and I will one day have it.

If it is in His will.  Thank God I don’t have to do this on my own.

Seriously. 

Thank You.

ἁγιασμὸς

I've been so worried in my life about my calling and not knowing what it is or not knowing what I want to do with my life (or rather what He wants to do with my life).  I do try to give my life to Christ on a daily basis, telling Him I am willing to go wherever God will me.  I hope I will go when he calls, and I ask for that spirit in my life.

However, in "searching" for my calling, I have come up empty handed, because I can not find it.  I have to wait on the Lord for that one.  I wait on His command in my life, and in the meantime, live under His will as He commands.  Trying to live by 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 is one way I am following His will:

3It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body^a in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;

 I feel that this is my calling now, to be sanctified (or holy).  Not just in this particular area, but in all areas.  In areas of speech (James 3:9-10), mind (Phillipians 4:8) and body, as this verse points out.  It is the calling of a Christian to be sanctified.  It is God's will.  I am asking God to continually sanctify me with the Grace he has so generously poured out through His son Jesus Christ, who died for us.  

I was reminded of what Jesus did for me on Sunday when we were taking communion.  The pastor always says that the purpose of communion is to remember and reflect on what Christ has done for us, as Christ said in Luke 22:19:

 "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me... This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you."  

It is easy for me to lose site of this Grace and Mercy that has been poured out for us and the Joy that the Lord gives us because of our freedom from sin.  I am thankful that I attend a congregation that does this weekly, so that I my be reminded of the reason for my freedom.  But I should not have to be reminded, it should merely be another opportunity for me to reflect on what the Lord has done.  I don't focus enough on His death and how much it means for us.  I take it for granted far too often.

Something I need to work on.  I thank Him for everything else in my life, but leave out His death for me a lot of the time.  Even when I do, I am not truly reflecting on what He did for me, but merely saying it out of habit.  Not that I should always focus on what He did for me, but I need to remember to bring that to the forefront of my mind every now and again in order for me to remind myself why I am striving to live by the will of God: to be sanctified.  

Pray that I will become pure and blameless in all areas, so that I may echo the life of Christ, who was the "sinless, spotless Lamb of God" (1 Peter 1:19) (Not that I ever will be spotless while here in this life, but that I may strive to be).   I pray this for the church as a whole, that we may one day see the Glory of God and here Him say those six words that we all long to hear from His lips.

Move in my life, Lord.  Sanctify my body, mind and speech.




Postscript: Please do not think that I knew all of this scripture.  I, unfortunately, knew very little of it and had to research it in order to know the fullness and location of the verses.  In no way am I trying to look like a biblical scholar, but merely trying to give reference to the thoughts that I have had so that the reader may simply see that what I am writing is backed by biblical teachings, and not my own thoughts.  Praise be to God, and Him alone, who speaks through this book in a powerful voice.

kids, man

Thank God for the ones who have allowed me in their lives. Not that I am not a kid, but the pseudo(fabricated)-gap between the high schooler and college student is enough for them to look to you and enough for me to learn from them. I can't even begin anywhere, so I'll just touch on the the overarching theme of WEAG Seek Youth Choir Tour 2011.

These kids love God.

With a passion that is undying and unashamed. They have no qualms praising him anywhere, wether on a beach boardwalk, city park or in a church. I have never seen a group of 100+ kids worshiping like they did. To paraquote the song "Praise Him in Advance," by Marvin Sapp, "They started singin', they started clappin', they started dancin', people were laughin'. The people knew they had problems and pain, but the kids knew that God did and would take them away."

These kids love the Lord. They are unashamed to spread his name on the busy streets of New York city and are uninhibited when it comes to praying for strangers. The fact that they touched so many peoples lives with their music was incredible, but that isn't even the half of it.

They found Him. A deeper meaning of who He is and shared His love to those who needed it. And they cared. Not about what they thought, but what about He wanted to do through them.

Being able to go on a choir tour again has been a beautiful experience for me. It was such an encouragement and I have learned a ton from these kids about what it means to really surrender yourself to Jesus Christ.

They are all beautiful.

I'm back at it

Well, as I had posted on a WordPress account a few days ago, I am getting back into this whole blogging thing. However, this seems to be the place to do blogging, and seeing that I already have an account here with some ancient posts (that are rather ignorant now that I look back on them), I decided to just stick with this one. Sorry Hevah J. It's just already here and is easier for me to use.

That being said, I will post a thought or something.

So. Yes, a thought.

Hmm. Well, this summer has been great. I've really been enjoying it and have had a great time interning up at WEAG and hanging out with all the crazy kids that go there. We leave for choir tour tomorrow, which will take us to Ocean City, MD, New York City, Utica, NY, and somewhere in PA. Should be a blast. I'm running techie stuff, so hopefully I will learn a lot about that!

I hope that you all can keep me and all of the kids and leaders that are going in your prayers for the next week or so. We are going in order to spread the love of Christ up and down the east coast, and I pray that not only the lives of those that will hear the music and the message that we bring them, but that also our kids would be touched and their faith would deepen (or begin, for those who have not yet heard or perhaps accepted the Call). I pray that you all are well and that everything is going well. I will try to find an iPhone app or something from which I can post little mini-blogs while I am gone, as I will not be bringing my computer along with me on the tour. Love you all, God bless!

I'd like to know. What you think.

Ignored

Sir Nicholas Beard

Small.

Pulling

to feed not only itself.

It continues.

Unrelenting, unyeilding

As a horse drawing carriage.

Work ethic of an ox

struggling, striving, straining

With knowledge of the fact that those

He lives with will die if he does not finish the task

I watch as it continues

Grabbing, grasping, grappling, gripping

the wafer pushing itself to its physical capabilities

after taking a break, but then he (she?) continues the effort.

Such strength from such a minute creature; Selfless and loving.

It teaches me, as I watch. I am

learning, living, laughing, longing, logging

the lesson I might learn from this unique creature.

How much it is exerting itself, how much the sluggard

could learn from it. But many will ignore the lesson God

allows us to experience through such a simple, small creature.

Many would say

Annoying

Nothing

Troublesome

I would say

Astonishing

Noteworthy

Tremendous

and now for something completely different.

So, we had air band last night at our school. A few friends and I decided it would make people smile if we did our own rendition of the Yes Dance. For those of you who haven't seen the original Yes Dance, here's a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyqUj3PGHv4

Here's our rendition:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLRgHHbX1jg

Hope you enjoy :)

crushed, bro

Yeah it's old news. But now it's for REALS. And it hurts, for reals. Hey, I'll be okay. God's got a plan for me that's bigger than all of this. I think I know what I want, but it's not what I want. I want what God wants. And he's gonna give me that jam that's so sweet there'll be no(one)thing sweeter. Stoked about it hardcore, but kinda still bummin'.

You got this G-man, it's all you. Take it dude, I don't need it. But I still want to hang on to something that is too far gone and impossible to have.

I gotta put the past behind me man. I can't change it. There's nothing to do. I've made my decision, and it was the right one. I hate that I had to make it, but I had no choice. Is was that, or live in half-brokenness for the rest of my life.

How can I be beneficial to the Kingdom like that? I'm surrendering it. It's done. It's behind me.

I'm happy, and happy for everyone involved. I hope all goes well in all situations, I would never wish harm on any(one)thing. I'm stoked about it now. I'm happy for that situation. It's great :)

Hopefully we've all learned something from all of this. Hopefully we make changes to better ourselves. Hopefully we can live, love, and be in Joy for the rest of our lives.

I'm content. Patient. Waiting. Patiently? Maybe.

Not enough I'm sure. Circumstances will be engineered. Can I grasp what the future holds? Only when it's there in front of me. Until then it's futile. Be, live, love, grow (in Joy). That's where I have to be. That's where I'm gonna be.

That's where I am.

Right now.

It's my decision. That's what it's gonna be. Done.






I feel better.